Tlokwali Honoring the Wolf Warriors
by KaramelKat
Summary: Originally written as a fanfic challenge on JBNP. A picture of Jake and a feather - what story will you come up with? This was my version of the feather story.


_Tlokwali_

Jacob leaned over the sink vanity, peering into the bathroom mirror at his reflection. His face was a few scant centimeters from the reflective surface of the glass, his eyes poring over every feature on his face. His gaze skimmed over the rigid jawline, the subtle, hard planes of his cheeks and met the battle weary sadness that looked back at him. He wondered what had happened to the fifteen year old boy that had been there less than four months ago – the one with long, black hair and a rounded chin that sometimes broke out when he was nervous. In his place was a man that Jacob didn't recognize half the time.

He tilted his head back, taking a deep breath and missing the way his longer hair used to brush his body mid-back. It was cropped close to his head now, easier to keep clean and neat according to the pack rules. Jacob was now one of the chosen few, a warrior, a wolf shifter and a protector of life. Unfortunately the life he wanted to protect most, didn't want his protection.

"_Love you Jacob."_

"_Love you more."_

He hadn't seen her since the newborn vampire battle. Bella had made her choice and it wasn't Jacob. In the weeks that had followed the battle - the battle he had fought valiantly to save her life, getting injured in the process – Bella's visit had desisted. Jacob's injuries from the battle had healed, except for one. The open wound on his heart that Bella had left him with, bled and ached each day she was gone.

_If only the vampire hadn't come back, she would be with me now._ Jacob exhaled sharply, his eyes scowling back at him for this thought of her Cullen Prince. He knew she loved them both, she had admitted as much to him the night she left him. Cullen was the only one keeping them apart. If only Bella had loved him more than she loved the Cold One. If only he had a chance to prove to her how much better he was for her. If only-

"Jacob!" He heard his father yell, intruding into his ruminations of what could have been – no- w_hat should have been_. "Are you almost ready?"

"Yeah Dad!" He called back casting one more look at himself into the mirror, still searching for the boy whose world hadn't been turned upside down. He wasn't there.

"Sue's picking us up in two minutes. Don't forget your clothes on the kitchen table!"

Jacob snorted. He left the bathroom behind, heading out into the kitchen to grab the bag on the table. Billy Black was wheeling himself around, his reading glasses on his face as he checked items off his list at the last minute.

"Dad," Jake peeked inside the bag. "Do we really have to dress like this?"

"Yes. We've been over this Jacob." Billy lifted his head, his magnified eyes peering owlishly at Jacob a moment until he removed his reading glasses. "It is tradition. The other boys will be dressed this way as well."

"Jeez Dad, I don't want to see Paul's junk hanging out anywhere." Jake made gagging noises to emphasize his point.

"Nobody's junk will be hanging out," Billy responded back. "Now go get me the charcoal and green paint from the garage. Sue's bringing the black and blue."

By the time Jacob retrieved Billy's items, the Clearwater family had pulled up in their mini-van into the yard. Seth jumped out of the van, looking like he was dressed for Halloween. The youngster was wearing buckskin pants with beaded decorations and no shirt.

"Jake! Check it out! These were my great-great-great-great grandfather's!" Seth's enthusiasm could never be matched by anyone else in the tribe. "See the wolf design here?" He held out his leg to show a series of brown beads sewn on the suede material to resemble a wolf's outline. "Mom added that for me."

"That's really cool Seth," Jacob grinned and then felt himself growl internally towards his father who was wheeling himself over to the van with bags on his lap. How was it that Seth was able to dress in buckskin pants for Tlokwali but _his_ clothing was going to be nothing more than a tiny breech clout? He was blaming his father for that one. Thank heavens for werewolf temperatures or he'd get cold fast in the garment he was going to put on.

"I can't believe we're being honored in Tlokwali! This is so exciting Jake!"

Tlokwali, the wolf ritual, was being held tonight to celebrate the recent battle. The warriors of the Quileute, the wolf pack, were being honored in their first major victory over the Cold Ones. They had not just picked off one random vampire to kill, but a coven of blood thirsty, strong, newborn savages. The tribal elders had deemed their battle worthy of celebrating Tlokwali.

"It is pretty great," Jake had to agree even if his heart was not completely certain of the victory. The only way he'd ever feel like he'd truly won is if Bella chose life over death. If she would choose him over the vampire-

"I can't wait to retell the story of how I brought down that vamp!" Seth mock punched the air and said, "Bam! That sucker didn't even suspect I was faking! He didn't know what was coming to him!"

"Seth!" Leah's voice cut across her sibling's excitement. "Get in the van! We're leaving in a second! Jake, you too!"

Jake turned to see Leah was struggling to fit Billy's wheelchair into the space in the back of the van. He quickly handed off the two cans of paint to Seth. In a few strides he was beside of her helping to lift his dad's heavy chair as if it weighed nothing, wedging it into the narrow cargo bay.

Leah smacked her hands together, taking a few steps back. "Watch your head," She intoned to Jake as she reached for the hatch of the van. He ducked away, the door closing after him. Leah turned around, beads clicking slightly with her movements.

Jacob stared at her. Leah was dressed in a fringed and beaded buckskin dress with cut off sleeves and a long skirt that ended at her calves. Her dress was embellished with a belt made of shredded bark. Her hair was loose, likely too short to braid on either side of her head. When she noticed Jake staring, Leah barked, "What?" She frowned at him.

"You look-"

"Strange, I know." Leah interrupted. "We're all going to look weird with war paint on later. Get in the van Jacob." She hurried around the side without awaiting him.

"-nice." Jake breathed the last word and then shook his head. He went the opposite way Leah did and helped Sue get Billy adjusted into the front seat of the van. A few more minutes of shifting things around and getting settled, then the Clearwater and Blacks were on their way to the site of the ceremony.

There were certain areas of La Push that were strictly off limits to tourists no matter what season. It was in one of these areas that the ceremony was being held. While the tribal elders got the fires built, the wolves not already dressed for the ceremony, had the opportunity to do so. Jacob found himself relieved that he was not the only one wearing a breech clout. Paul was the only one of them arrogant enough to comment on his "displayed goods" though, earning him a ribbing from all the wolves present.

The evening hours dwindled towards Twilight and Sue brought over the bowls of paint for the boys to choose how they wanted to decorate their faces. Each paint color represented a different aspect of the warrior and the battle. Jake picked his colors carefully. Red represented the battle and the wolves' success. Black was for strength and life. They had become a stronger pack and every one of them had come out alive in the battle. Jacob finally chose to separate the black and red on his face with a band of yellow, his chest heavy as he did so.

Yellow was for death, mourning and it also indicated a warrior's willingness to fight to the death. The yellow he had chosen was for both himself and Bella. He was willing to put his life on the line to save hers. She was equally willing to throw hers away and leave him behind to die. He dipped his palm into the yellow paint and slapped a handprint right above where he judged his heart to be on his chest.

Seth had covered his whole face in black paint, his white teeth flashing in a mad grin against the color. There were two handprints of white on either side of his cheek. White the color of peace, intermingled with a color meant to declare him a strong, powerful warrior. Having ripped apart a vampire single handedly on his own and made allies with a 'vegetarian vamp', the kid deserved his decoration of war and peace.

The pack gathered in a loose semi-circle to face the tribal elders. Billy, Sue and two others were seated for the ceremony. Old Quil was dressed in ceremonial robes, a table with crafted, wooden whistles and smoking pots near to him for the rituals. He started off, speaking in the Quileute tongue, describing the ritual to be performed.

While Old Quil talked, Jacob glanced at his pack brothers. And sister. Leah had decorated half her face in green paint, showing her endurance as a wolf. She had blue intermingled with the green, representing wisdom. Jake found himself wondering what she had taken away from the battle to wear such a color. When she glanced his way, he could see the other half of her face was relentlessly black. It sent a shiver down his spine.

Most of the faces around the fire were red and black, with other colors interspersed. Colin and Brady were sitting on the sidelines in casual clothing, watching their pack mates and the ceremony with envious eyes. They were too young and inexperienced to have faced the newborns, staying behind to guard the reservation just in case. Emily was near to them, recording the ceremony for future generations.

After Old Quil finished speaking, he shuffled slowly around the circle of wolves, waving a burning stick of sage (at least Jake hoped it was sage) over each wolf's head. As high as he could reach anyways -since most of the boys were taller than the slightly stooped elder. Old Quil finished the opening ceremony lifted a wooden whistle to his lips and playing a traditional, invitation song.

Once that was over, the wolves were invited to share battle stories to the tribal elders. Even though everyone had already heard the stories, the re-telling of these stories was important for each wolf to prove their worth as a warrior. Sam, the Alpha, was the first to share his tale. Once he had finished, Old Quil praised his story in Quileute, blessed the warrior for his cunning, his vigilance and his leadership. He also prayed for continued heart and fortitude as a warrior. Finally, the elder withdrew from his robes a single feather, presenting it to Sam.

"Quileute Warrior, we honor you with this gift."

Jacob felt his heart leap at the sight of the feather. It would be every wolf's first one. In Native American culture, the feather is a symbol of a warrior's first victory in battle. Feathers had different meanings, some better than others. An eagle feather, the bird that soars closest to heaven, was considered the highest honor a warrior could receive.

Sam nodded towards Quil, his face somber as he accepted the gift. He held it aloft; walking around the circle to show his fellow warriors the honor he had been given. When he reached his empty spot in the semi-circle, he stopped.

Jake was next. As Beta, he was second in command to Sam, even if the current Alpha kept trying to change that status quo. He stepped forward and haltingly told his part of the tale. He told the tribal elders of his battle, not just with the newborns, but of his battle to save a girl – no, the woman he loved from the clutches of the Cold Ones. He left nothing out, baring his heart and soul to let them know of his grief that she still chose death over life. He may have fought bravely, but in the end he had failed.

When he was done speaking, Jacob could see his father's eyes were shining with tears for his son's pain, his gaze centered on the yellow paint right over Jacob's heart. Their eyes locked and Billy's mouth lifted in a smile, pride spilling forth around the older man's grief. Jacob felt his own chest swell with pride in response. He may have lost Bella, but he had protected many lives by killing the newborns. He would become Alpha and chief of the tribe one day. He would have to learn to accept the loss with the wins.

Old Quil praised Jacob's strength and faith in the battle. He also praised his sacrifice and willingness to suffer for another. Jacob had thought that Old Quil meant Bella, but the old man had glanced at Leah for a moment when saying that. Leah was watching the two of them and it spoke volumes of her endurance that she didn't glare at either of them when it was obvious Old Quil was referring to Jake's rescue of her during the battle. It was a constant source of annoyance between the two of them.

Old Quil prayed for Jake's heart and fortitude to never change and blessed him. He reached into his robes and emerged with another feather.

"Quileute Warrior, we honor you with this gift."

Jacob accepted the feather as Sam had. Just as Sam had done, he held it high, showing it off until he found his place within the circle. As the next wolf stepped forward to receive this honor, Jake glanced at his feather.

It was a large eagle feather, dark brown and smooth with no breaks in the vane. The rachis was dark at the tip and creamy white at the end of the hollow shaft. Jacob flipped it in his fingertips momentarily distracted by a glint in the firelight from the barb of the feather. He looked closer to see a glint of amber gold stricken within the deep brown, in a cracked line across the middle of the feather.

The gold streak was the only band of discoloration on the feather, and just on the one side. Jacob stared at the tiny line that changed the complete wholeness of his gift. In a strange way, the crack in the color reminded him of the crack that Bella had left on his heart. Neither he, nor the feather were flawed because of this crack, rather they were both enhanced by it.

Jake smiled at the gift. Strangely, it was perfect for him. He lifted his head, gently clutching the feather in his fingers as he watched his brothers (and sister) honored with their own feathers. Seth, the most excited wolf, kept bouncing in place as he told his story until even his mother admonished, "Seth! Stand still!" amidst the pack's amused laughter.

Later after the ceremony was over, everyone showed off their feathers again, each warrior taking care with their first gift from the tribal elders. Quil had earned a banded feather, Embry had a red, hawk feather and Seth managed to earn himself an eagle feather like Jacob.

Jacob handed his father the feather asking, "Well?" He knew his trademark smirk was in place, filled with pride for his accomplishments.

"You are a warrior and a man now Jake," Billy looked over the feather, turning it over in his hands and then holding it back out to his son, "This is a fine gift. I hope you recognize the strength you hold inside you. Like the eagle, you will be strong and proud no matter what."

"Thanks Dad," Jake leaned down to hug Billy, careful not crush the feather between the two. When he pulled back he swore he saw tears in his old man's eyes again. "Stupid sand in my eye," Billy muttered wiping underneath them.

"Everyone's got sand in their eyes," Leah said from behind them. "I think Paul was even choking on some sand that got stuck in his throat." Billy and Jake both laughed at that mental image.

"Let's see your feather Leah," Jake turned to face her.

"Bluejay," She held up the feather, smaller than the ones her wolf pack brothers had gotten. The tip was white with bright blue and black banding down the shaft. "Unwavering, resolute determination," Leah twirled the feather between her fingertips and then said, "I think Old Quil was trying to tell me I'm obnoxiously stubborn."

Jacob's lips pressed together as he tried to hold in his laughter at her words. Billy chuckled and said, "I think it describes you well Leah. Once you have decided on a course of action, nothing will get you to stray from it."

"It's true," Jacob agreed, nodding his head. Leah had been determined to prove herself against the newborn and only Jake's interference had prevented her from getting injured due to her own stubborn nature.

"Let's see your feather," Leah made a "gimme-gimme" gesture with her hand. Jake held out his feather to her.

"Eagle feather? Giving Seth a run for his money Jake?" Leah turned the feather over in her hands and then smiled at the small discoloration. "Well check that out. It's not completely boring brown. This looks like it came from a young eagle who hadn't earned all his bands of adult color yet." She held the feather back out to Jacob and said, "Guess it still had some growing up to do still."

Jacob took the feather back from Leah, wondering at her words. "See you two at the van," Leah walked off in a flutter of beads and fringe from her dress.

It wasn't until much later that night, in the privacy of his home that Jacob came to understand the analysis she had given his feather. As he looked in the mirror, slowly wiping off the face paint with a towel, he realized he wasn't that innocent boy anymore. He was a juvenile who had shed his old body, making way for the adult. Jake was a Quileute warrior and the face that stared back at him was the face of the man he hoped he always would be.


End file.
